User blog:Brianbelo8/Big Brother At 18

Big Brother, Big Brother, Big Brother – where do I start?! Well, I’ve just turned thirty number one, the same year that Big Brother officially turns eighteen. Officially! The show begun in Holland in the autumn of 1999. Created by John De Mol and Joop van den Ende. Thirty is a funny age, I feel like I’ve become more of a myself in some ways, less of myself in other way’s and totally transcended my idea and my ideals of who I’am in other ways. Whereas eighteen is about liberation, well for me it was anyway. As I’ve turned thirty, I look at myself in so many different way’s but I also look at this eighteen year-old Big Brother, in a million different ways aswell.

I mean I was there at the beginning, like where the British season is concerned. I was full-on there from the audition show aired during the youth television show, T4, on Channel 4 in the spring of the year 2000. My face was so close to the screen, I swear that my nose actually touched the screen. I always grew-up loving telly. I had a quirky obsession with the Australian soap-opera, Neighbours as a kid. Then in 1999, the first season of Shipwrecked aired on Channel 4, which for me was like a real-life, soap-opera! After I saw that show, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’m not even joking it literally used to keep me up at night. The very fact that I got to watch real people on a beach in a soap was just peculiar! I’ll never forget the day my family had to explain to me that Jim Robinson and Helen Daniels wasn’t real in Neighbours and that the actors were not wearing their own clothes. It literally tore my world apart. I was about six and I was like, where are their bedroom’s?!

Anyway, back to Big Brother – when it arrived to me July, 2000. I would like to say I know the accurate date it aired on television, I always say It’s the 19th July 2000. But I always see it on twitter announced as the 18th July 2000. All I remember was that it was a Wednesday and I literally waited for it with baited breath! I had my VHS tapes at hand ready to record every minute of it. I used to record all of Neighbours, so for me this was the new Neighbours, I’m there! And I was there! I was in the moment. There was no live audience, no hoopla. No nothing really. Just ten people walking into a compound, because it didn’t really look like a house. That summer changed my life, like it literally changed my life! Those people, their stories, their lives, just everything absolutely consumed me. It’s a cliché to say it’s so great because it was a social-experiment then. But the truth is, it was the fact that you could not of made that show any other time in history. That was literally what it was that blew my mind! I had endless amount of documentaries about the start of Coronation Street and EastEnders and all the other shows. But I wasn’t born to see any of those show’s come to life on television. But I was alive for this. Before the first eviction, I didn’t even know what the first eviction was going to be might I add. But after the first couple of daily show’s I knew this show was a hit! Do you know why it was amazing, for me – because it was like this little underground show at 11pm on Channel 4. In all actual honesty it was like my own frequency, it was like an untapped connection to another earth!

Then that first eviction, no one could have prepared me for what I was about to see during all of that. It totally blew me away that television could do that! It was a total adrenalin overload. I mean I had become a teenager the week before Big Brother (UK) begun. Looking back at it now, it was the big man upstairs way of going – “I’ve got a little gift for you!” and a gift it was! It helped me with all that teenage angst and free-running hormones that I didn’t know what to deal with. All the stuff that was taboo to talk about at the Ramsay Street dinner table’s was more than okay to discuss on the Big Brother sofa’s. It didn’t make me love Neighbours any less. Holly Valance joined Neighbours at the point, so I was totally made-up! But it did make me realise there was a time and a place for stuff. It sharpened my instincts, it made me wise beyond words in some ways and helped me become secure within myself in other ways. Yeah, looking back at it - television does that, well it done that for me anyway.

By end of the first season of Big Brother 1 (UK) … I remember thinking to myself, that’s like watching forty to fifty year’s of a soap-opera in the space of two and a bit month’s. Well it was for me anyway. Purely because the show spoke to me. That finale was not a finale for me, it was a historical moment! I used to love waking-up the morning after every eviction to go and buy all the newspapers to see what the write-up was about of it all. The morning after every eviction and every finale used to feel special, like the air used to feel different. It used to taste different. I’m talking about before I was ever a housemate. Literally the walk to the shops’ to get all my mag’s and newspapers used to be one of the best walk’s ever. The excitement, I used to get was just silly. Then I’d go back and watch E4 live all-day! Literally all-day! I was in the generation where we used to watch the housemates sleep!

Then April 2001, I read in my ‘Inside Soap’ magazine about Big Brother Australia! That ‘wow’ moment. Just a small snippet in the mag, but to me now – that small snippet changed my whole world. I was getting more new friends! I remember when I bought the highlight video and the morning it arrived through my front door! I’m not joking, it was one of the best moments of my life! This was real-life Neighbours to me. I know now, that you never say that to Big Brother Australia contestants! I sort of got that later on down the line too. But Big Brother Australia definitely deepened and intensified my relationship with Big Brother and Australia actually. The same way you would get artists talking about Picasso or Mona Lisa. I felt exactly the same about Big Brother Australia. During those early year’s, me and Big Brother (UK) were always tight but the great thing was that when Big Brother (UK) would have an off year, (AU) would have fill that gap. Those Australian evictions were my life! They were pandemonium! I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the film with Christina Ricci, Now & Then, but that was literally how I used to feel when watching BBAU!

As a teenager, when I scrapped my knee or when I didn’t get chosen to play for the football team. Big Brother was there! I’d just go home and enthral myself in it. By the time I was in year ten, I used to spend my whole lunch break in the school computer room researching Big Brother Australia. There was a site at the time called www.behindbigbrother.com. I was always on that site, it was so bad, I literally used to scroll the page’s for any bit of news and information that I could find.

There were so many highlight’s of Big Brother Australia. It would be unfair to name any particular housemate or situation because everyone added something in their own little way. Again, that sounds cliché but once you’ve done the house, you know, that’s totally true! There were significant year’s though! Season two was the first year I got to see it all play out properly. I’ve got a special but different bond with BB2 (AU) because it was and is so amazing. But it’s precious in a different way. I always feel like it’s not to be prodded or poked. Season three (AU) was this bright, shiny, bundle of fun! They were a lot older, the season three housemates. I can’t forget this. Because at the time, I didn’t really get it. The long stories, that I was like talking about now. A couple of years-ago, I watched season three (AU) again – considering I’m the age now that they were then. I totally got all the jokes that I didn’t get as a teenager. Those housemates make me feel good about myself. They tell me no matter how your dressed, what you are going through or who you are. Our door is open. That means a lot to me.

Season four (AU) – where do we start! Actually, can I just say the best thing about season four (AU) was that for the first time, for me, for ME! We had a great season of Big Brother in every English speaking country! It was the trifecta! America’s Big Brother actually became what I felt was actually Big Brother in 2004. Drew Daniel was the archetypal hero! He was that guy, that you wanted to become! Even if you didn’t become Drew, you knew that you had a solid role model in Drew – in some ways. Drew was the first person to really introduce me to the bible. The way he used to explain it in the house, really made actual sense to me. By 2004, Big Brother UK had found a new bench-mark. It became ‘Evil’! It also became sexy! It was the summer I was seventeen, it was a summer of firsts for me. I was at college, I was partying, I was making new friends, new loves and just had a new lease for life in general.

Big Brother (UK) 2004 was the perfect soundtrack to my summer at that time. It’s weird because all of Big Brother (UK) from season 1-7, was great in lots of different ways. But season seven was always special to me. It was longer, it was well cast. It felt like Big Brother Australia but it Britain. You can’t argue with seven. It was also the summer I found Laguna Beach! A different show entirely, but it wasn’t! Because it complimented my Big Brother viewing for me! Especially MY Big Brother Australia viewing. By 2006, I had literally been spending every night of my life watching Big Brother Australia for so long that it was not even funny! Like that’s how I unwind at the end of the day. Those are people that I want to watch. Like, that is my folklore. Those guy’s taught when you are supposed to be speak, when you are not supposed to speak and everything in-between. Like Big Brother Australia, that’s my EastEnders, that’s my Coronation Street and Emmerdale! Now at thirty even more so. The fact that it is not on anymore, makes me miss it. Big Brother is still on here in the UK. So I feel an emptiness that Big Brother Australia isn’t on anymore. It’s where a lot of my laughter comes from but it also taught me that there are different ways to solve and tackle problems.

Then in 2007, I went ahead and done it! I became a housemate in Big Brother (UK)! It was everything and anything and more. Yeah, I don’t feel like there is more to say about it than that! I was so lucky! Every single person was amazing in their own little way and that certainly isn’t a cliché. Ten year’s later, we’ve all gone down our own path’s but every now and then I’ll get a whisper from them. Telling me, you’re okay kid! You’re doing well. Carry on! Just giving me a nudge. I loved it so much, that it’s not even funny! I can’t really explain it anymore. So much has gone on. I can remember it all. But in way’s I don’t! Time has a way of distorting your memory of things. Like, that had to happen – so that, that could happen. So you could go down that path. Then you get a quiet moment and you go nah, it always was what it essentially was! It was never a stepping stone, it was never a search for discovery, it was just the chance to tell the story of my life and bottle it. I always think that Big Brother is a spiritual experience. When else can you watch a human-being 24 hours a day as they are on camera. There um’s, there aww’s, there fidgety bit’s in the afternoon. All of it. There are times when I see clips of me at nineteen when I go, shit, I’m so glad I done that because so many years have gone by that I have completely forgetten who I’am. What I’am supposed to stand for, what my morales and beliefs are. All of it, then in a blink of an eye. I’ll remember everything and live from my true inner values. That’s why for me Big Brother is more than just another show.

For the first time this week I found episodes of Big Brother 1 Holland (1999) … Wow, what can I say! It had everything! I don’t understand any Dutch, but I didn’t need too, well I did need too, but you know can fill in the blanks there. It was amazing. It was like watching the first man walk on the moon. I had seen snippets of the show in March/April 2000, but I had never actually seen the actual SHOW until this week! (pause) Blew my mind away! I got to watch that actual grande finale too, gosh! That was something to behold! Bart the eventual winner – just a true man amongst men! I say that with him amongst all of us winners, men and women. See, people can misinterpret me because I’ll tweet Big Brother bonkers stuff etc etc. But it’s more than anything because I was a viewer of this show for seven years, that’s a long time. Then I got to win it. It’s the ultimate fantasy!

So I went in the house nineteen years-old and spent my twentieth birthday in there. I was twenty when I won it. In all honesty, when I left Big Brother in 2007, I just felt numb! I felt numb for a long time too. I never could really watch Big Brother (UK) in the same way again either. So I’m missing my friend in some ways. Yeah, I’m missing my friend. Big Brother Australia came back for a while! Now that came back for me, in the nick of time! It was weird though, I mean social-media had happened by this point and these were people in their mid to late twenties that had lived an adult life not being in the public eye. People have many different interpretations of Big Brother and what it is all about and what it had become. Especially with the notoriety aspect of it. Big Brother notoriety differs in every country, in 2007 it was on the wane from other years. But I wasn’t one hundred per cent exempt from it. Growing-up in an environment where you’ve been on TV and then you’re thrown in a pool with celebrities bothers me a bit. More than anything because an actor, an actress, a pop star or an athlete would look at someone like me and go you are not a celebrity. And I would go, I agree! But there are times where the lines have been blurred. Which is weird for everybody! So Big Brother is now eighteen years-old! The Celebrity season does well in Britain, more than the normal season does now. That upsets me, no offence to anyone of any of the shows. But I’m from normal Big Brother. I’m always going to be for ‘normal’ Big Brother. I want to see the civilian season make it to its’ twentieth anniversary. It’s weird because I look at the past ten years and I can see where I’ve had teething problems in my own life, so has Big Brother (UK). There is a self-indulged side of me that say’s if I’m not watching that show, it goes off the rails a bit. There is sooo much emphasis on celebrity now, that it is almost over-whelming! I spent a lot of my time doing Personal Appearances in nightclubs after that show. So my mind was all over the place. Turning thirty has helped me to look at the show again and go, we’ve got to save this. Because if we don’t we could lose it. Australia has and it’s sad. America still has Big Brother, there show has got stronger and better with age in some way’s. But it’s still very far from the original Dutch version. I’ve got a lot of respect for the American version for holding on in there and adapting it to their audience.

This year though, I’ve watched the Italian Big Brother for the first time in full! Wow, what an extravaganza! Again, I don’t know Italian, but I sort of get the jist. They seem like people I would spend time with. I dunno, there mesmerizing. They’ve definitely remoulded Big Brother for me. I mean Big Brother VIP – Celebrity Big Brother. But it’s certainly aspirational. For me Big Brother should always be aspirational. Most definitely! I first saw Grande Fratello, Big Brother Italy, on one of those BB clip-show’s of BB from around the world. I never would of thought I would of seen a whole season of Grande Fratello. So at thirty, that’s a first! It’s their grande finale tomorrow. Big Brother December! It’s weird, because the International Big Brother community is warm and kind and feels like home. I’m a viewer again, a real viewer as well. That’s a place that I like and I love. I’ve not been able to do that again properly until Big Brother VIP 2 (2017). So that’s quite something! Ignazio Moser was a fantastic housemate this year! A good stand-alone character! He had the energy and levels that is needed to go the extra mile to leap off the screen! He made the parties eventful, which for me is important! Big Brother is about having a good time. I’m sad that Ignazio Moser won’t make the finale tomorrow. Cecilia Rodriquez’s eviction was so intense that it was not even funny! That was properly some of the best television of the year for me! It was water-cooler stuff! So, thank-you, Grande Fratello for giving me something to watch and enjoy!

By Big Brother 10 Australia (2013) though I was living on my own in London, away from my family in Essex. It was properly the most scariest experiences in my life if I’m honest. I mean London’s great for going out and stuff, but if your from the home counties. Living in the city is different. Big Brother 10 Australia kept me safe. They were most definitely my friends in the television. The show was different, but it wasn’t. They were warm and kind and caring. I know I won’t say moments, but I will never forget the time Mikkayla got evicted and cried saying goodbye to the dog, Mr Clooney! My family dogs were so far-away, I was like Big Brother what the hell are you doing to me. Ben, Big Brother 10 Australia, was great value. I will never forget his let’s do the twist-dance! When you’re away from home, it certainly is comforting! But in general, there was so many BBAU moments! Christie was everything! Christie was life! Gosh, that girl – her enthusiasm and lust for life got me! I’ve been lucky enough to be friend’s with plenty of Christie’s since then. The Logan’s for me are always brilliant! They are the like the ultimate guide on how to become a man! Timmy’s the true story-teller, he pulled everything in for me, he held everyone together! Ashalea, what can I not say about Ashalea! I loved Ashalea so much! I actually cried when she got evicted, it was so upsetting. How is this a blog, I’ve wrote like a bloody book already! What the hell?! I’m writing all the housemates out of sequence of their year’s. That’s annoying! Erm Ed was great in season ten. It was sad to see him go, when your fave’s go a week before the end – you do feel gutted. I plan my whole life around a Big Brother season, so it absolutely tear’s me apart when my favourites don’t make it till the end! It was the same Cherry and Bridgette too! For crying out loud, Season seven (AU) - the fish phone! How can I forget the fish phone?! Well we had the fish phone in Big Brother 8 (UK) and we got to speak to the Big Brother Australia house. That was properly one of the best moments of my life! Like literally, all the planets aligned there. For me, they did. I used to watch Aleisha, Travis and Billy before I got in the house. So speaking to them was so weird. Actually, at the time it was like all of this is supposed to be amazing – we’re in Big Brother for crying out loud! That’s where dreams are supposed to come true! It’s only year’s later, that you go, Brian. Sit down for a minute, do not take for granted that you got to speak to BBAU while in the BBUK house and it was totally out of this world!

Okay, so Big Brother 11 Australia (2014) is a barrel of laughs for me! I mean by (2014) I was like Big Brother you have got no more cards up your sleeves for me, jog-on! But just about everyone and everything! It was like starting a new school, there was obviously a new scene in Australia. Because by (2014) I did not have a clue about the codes and conventions about that house and the housemates anymore. Because of that, I found it so captivating, that it was not even funny! I’ll never forgetting picking the winner on day three. I was like he’ll win. I’ve done that a few times. I picked Craig Philips from the first British season of Big Brother as the winner from a newspaper article before the show even aired. I looked at the pictures and I was like he’ll win and he did! Ryan Ginns was a bit the same. I always think with Ryan Ginns, he doesn’t say a lot but what he does say speaks volumes. For me now, his one of my favourite housemates – purely because to be able to reinvent Big Brother for me when I thought it was getting predictable was absolutely impossible in some ways. But again, season eleven had a great final three.

So yeah, that’s my very first Big Brother blog! I should say where Big Brother I concerned I would say – always meet your heroes! After Big Brother 8 (UK) I got to meet Blair McDonough from Big Brother 1 (AU) as I got asked to do a small part in his play, The Vegemite Tales. Was a real honour! His a good guy! Blair always sums-up what Big Brother mean’s for me. As does Benny and Sara-Marie! I sent Sara-Marie a e-mail as a kid and she replied. As did Tim Brunero, in 2005, actually. It’s all beyond surreal. That’s good. That’s where I’m going to leave it. Because that is what it all is! Surreal!